Sander Kleinberg kicks my ass

Hey guys, this is Calvin here. I’m writing a special guest blog on Mike’s site cuz, well, I convinced him that I’d be able to write something really interesting. I’ve also found an mp3 of Tatu’s ‘All The Things She Said’ on Mike’s hard drive, and I’ve so far played it three times. Tatu!. The idea of eastern European lesbians is kind of turning me on right now. I’m thinking now that eastern European lesbians might feature prominently in my next novel.
I’m meant to talk about interesting stuff here, so I’m thinking back over last weekend and what I got up to. I did a reading from Sushi Central at the Straight Outta Brisbane festival on Friday night, which was different to say the least. Pretty good fun though. It was in this tiny little space just off Brunswick street in the valley – the place was full of weird bohemian types and the dude before me read out a short story about a cute little fox who drove a train and spent his nights searching for porn on the internet. I was drinking these Skyy vodka things and had too many but did a good reading anyway. Afterwards, I went to Bowery, on Ann, with some of the other writers. Kept drinking, bummed a lot of cigarettes and spent a long time talking to Craig about what we’re going to do for our second novels. The rest of the night is kind of a blur, but I remember meeting up with Miranda and Jamie, dancing, bumming more cigarettes, and I might or might not have gone home with a group of Russian sailors.
Saturday was kind of dull by comparison. I was meant to go to a party that night but I fell asleep instead. Hung out with Nicole on Sunday, watched some sex In The City, tried to do some writing that night but hung out aimlessly on the net instead, watched Donnie Darko for the twelfth or thirteenth time and, um…. That kind of brings us up to date.
My novel is still kind of selling pretty well, but I’m having kind of an artistic crisis at the moment. The other day, I scored Sander Kleinberg’s ‘Everybody – It’s A Renaissance! The best mix album in the history of the universe!’, and it has inspired me to give up being a writer and become a DJ instead. I can’t mix and I don’t own a turntable but I’m not letting this hold me back. Spent most of today thinking about what tracks to put on my first mix. All I know is it’s going to include Miss Kittin’s ‘Rippin Kittin’ (“Daddy, can I go out and hunt tonight like you do on Sunday mornings?”)
Well. This whole thing has been kindof retarded, so I guess I’m heading off now. I’ll keep working on my mix album – I’ll let you all know how it goes.
Nice. Or as Diane von Furstenburg would say, Nass.
Note: This was written entirely by Calvin. Ignore the “Posted by Wigs comment below.