Consequences

This is the Internet. It’s public and it’s open. In the past I’ve tended to not to talk some aspects of my life here because they don’t concern just me and I don’t feel right talking specifics about other people without their consent. I censor myself a lot here; in particular I censor myself when it comes to girls and relationships. I don’t kiss and tell. It’s not me and never has been (ok well there have been exceptions when I’ve been really drunk, but that’s different!). I am going to talk about the following here though because, well, I feel like talking about it, and I know Nikkie won’t mind. I am not going to go into specifics; I still don’t kiss and tell.
So Friday night, my housemate Nikkie came home from Leicester, where she is doing her current physiotherapy placement. I first specifically mentioned Nikkie back in April last year in this entry. Here is a picture of Nikkie from that post so you know who I am talking about. Nikkie and I have become very close over the past five or so months since we moved in together. She and I get on really well and I’ve found myself opening up to her completely. That’s a rare thing and I’m glad I found it here, I didn’t think I would be able to so quickly. Anyway so we have been getting closer and closer, and at the same time flirting with each other now and then, but nothing even really came of it. Until last night.
Nikkie was desperate to go out on Friday after spending all week down in Leicester on placement, but nobody else wanted to go out because we all have exams on at the moment. I ended up being convinced though, and she and I went down to the Bag Of Nails, our local pub for a couple of drinks. We started by sitting next to each other on one of the leather couches there, and talked and talked. As the drinks started flowing we started creeping closer and closer to each other on the couch. The night progressed, it was getting pretty late, and we were getting pretty drunk. We were doing a bit of flirting, and then she suddenly kissed me. I was a little surprised, but at the same time sort of half expecting it, and I like her, so I kissed her back. After a little bit of making out we promptly went back home and, to avoid specifics, we spent the night together.
My other housemates will probably read this, but that’s ok, because they found out anyway. Nikkie and I spent about ten minutes kissing at our front door without realising that our other housemate Viki was just inside around the corner watching TV. So that kind of gave the game away, plus the fact that my bed was empty all night and Nikkie’s door was firmly locked with the music blaring from inside… ^_^
So Saturday morning we woke up, made out some more while watching episode seven of the new season of The O.C. and then had a talk, went into town and sat in Starbucks and talked some more. Conclusions: Though we both had a great time, and really needed the release, what we had done was a mistake. Neither of us regretted it, but with the current situation, and future possibilities, we agreed that we shouldn’t let it happened again. We are housemates, we live with each other, we are good friends, we each have crap in our past we are running from, and for all I know I could be in a completely different part of the country in a month’s time. There are consequences to our actions, and though during the night we each said a number of times, “What are we doing? We shouldn’t be doing this!”, with the clarity of day the full reality of those consequences was made clear.
So while my other housemates are currently giving us endless crap about it, Nikkie and I are still sharing cheeky grins about our night of passion, secure in the (rather mature) decision to make sure it is just a single night, and that’s all it will ever be. I suspect Graeme of putting out odds on when he expects us to shag next, but the way we figure it, whatever bets he takes will be on very long odds.
Anyway it’s time to go to sleep, back in my own bed tonight. Written while listening to Paul van Dyk – For An Angel, on repeat.

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